Welcome Daughters of Cain
Want to listen to Preacher's Daughter? Here's everything you need.
Who is Ethel Cain?
Hayden Silas Anhedönia (born March 24, 1998), known by her stage name Ethel Cain, is an American singer-songwriter. She was born in Tallahassee and lives in Pittsburgh.
Cain first started making music in 2017 under the name White Silas. She was inspired by Christian music and Gregorian chants. She released some music under that name on sites including Spotify, SoundCloud and Tumblr. In 2019, she changed to an alternative sound and started using the name Ethel Cain. Her music is Southern Gothic themed. She sings about poverty, substance abuse, domestic violence, death, and more.
Cain put out her first album in 2022 called Preacher's Daughter. Many music critics called it one of the best albums of the year.
Cain came out as a trans woman at 20 years old. She identifies as bisexual. She was diagnosed with autism as an adult.
What is Preacher's Daughter?
Preacher's Daughter is the debut studio album by American singer-songwriter and record producer Ethel Cain, released on May 12, 2022, via her own record label, Daughters of Cain. It is a concept album that creates a narrative inspired by the artist's personal life as the daughter of a deacon and is "centered around the character Ethel Cain, who runs away from home only to meet a gruesome end [...]". Drawing loose inspiration from her personal life, Anhedönia has stated that she was "possessed by the persona of Ethel Cain" after experiencing hardships of her own - such as coming out as gay, trans, and leaving her church and family. Sonically, it experiments with folk music, Americana, slowcore, and other genres.
Throughout the 13 tracks we learn the story of Ethel Cain. Set in 1991, the album details the character’s troubled relationship with religion, her old flame, her father (the titular preacher), and her gruesome fate.Be sure to wear headphones and enjoy the experience. <3
Family Tree (Intro)
Family Tree (Intro) sets the stage for the album. The song may make more sense the second time around. There's a lot of foreshadowing here.
[Preacher]
A woman, a mother, a mother is a very special thing
And other than the Lord Jesus Christ
I think that a mother is one of the most precious gifts that God gives to this world
Because the mother is the one who loves the Lord and always seems to be there when we need her
A mother is a very special thing
A mother is a very special thing[Verse 1]
These crosses all over my body
Remind me of who I used to be
And Christ forgive these bones I'm hiding
From no one successfully[Verse 2]
Jesus can always reject his father
But he cannot escape his mother's blood
He'll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers
But he'll never escape what he's made up of[Chorus]
The fates already fucked me sideways
Swinging by my neck from the family tree
He'll laugh and say, "You know I raised you bеtter than this"
Then leavе me hanging so they all can laugh at me
Like it says above, there's a ton of foreshadowing here. The lyric I bolded especially says a lot. The theme of fate is prevalent throughout the whole album.It's also important to note that we start with the theme of motherhood.
American Teenager
Hayden said of the song in a statement with Pitchfork: “Growing up I was surrounded by visions of NASCAR, rock’n’roll, and being the one who would change everything,” she said in a statement. “They make you think it’s all achievable and that if nothing else, you should at least die trying. What they don’t tell you is that you need your neighbor more than your country needs you. I wrote this song as an expression of my frustration with all the things the ‘American Teenager’ is supposed to be but never had any real chance of becoming.”
[Verse 1]
Grew up under yellow light on the street
Putting too much faith in the make-believe
And another high school football team
The neighbor's brother came home in a box
But he wanted to go, so maybe it was his fault
Another red heart taken by the American dream[Pre-Chorus]
And I feel it there
In the middle of the night
When the lights go out
And I'm all alone again[Chorus]
Say what you want, but say it like you mean it
With your fists for once, a long cold war
With your kids at the front
Just give it one more day, then you'rе done, done
I do what I want, crying in the blеachers
And I said it was fun
I don't need anything from anyone
It's just not my year
But I'm all good out here[Verse 2]
Sunday morning
Hands over my knees in a room full of faces
I'm sorry if I sound off, but I was probably wasted (Probably wasted)
And didn't feel so good (Didn't feel so good)
Head full of whiskey but I always deliver
Jesus, if you're listening let me handle my liquor
And Jesus, if you're there
Why do I feel alone in this room with you?[Pre-Chorus]
And I feel it there
In the middle of the night
When the lights go out
But I'm still standing here[Chorus]
Say what you want, but say it like you mean it
With your fists for once, a long cold war
With your kids at the front
Just give it one more day, then you're done, done
I do what I want, crying in the bleachers
And I said it was fun
I don't need anything from anyone
It's just not my year
But I'm all good out here[Outro]
Say what you want, but say it like you mean it
With your fist for once, a long cold war
With your kids at the front
Just give it one more day, then you're done
I do it for my daddy and I do it for Dale
I'm doing what I want and damn, I'm doing it well
For me, for me
For me, for me
House in Nebraska
Ethel thinks of her ex-lover, Willoughby Tucker, who left town before the events of the album. She remembers the good times they shared and longs for him to come back home. She visits the abandoned house they would spend time in, imagining it was their own, somewhere far away from their hometown of Shady Grove, Alabama
[Verse 1]
Labored breaths and bed sores
Sing it to me all day long
When the aching sound of silence
Used to be our favorite song
You and me against the world
You were my man and I your girl
We had nothing except each other
You were my whole world
But then the day came
And you were up and gone[Chorus]
And I still call home that house in Nebraska
Where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor
Where the world was empty
Save you and I
Where you came and I laughed, and you left, and I cried
Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours[Verse 2]
These dirt roads are empty
The ones we paved ourselves
Your mama calls me sometimes
To see if I'm doing well
And I lie to her
And say that I'm doing fine
When really I'd kill myself
To hold you one more time
And it hurts to miss you
But it's worse to know
That I'm the reason
You won't come home[Chorus]
But I still call home that house in Nebraska
Where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor
(When I needed you, and I need you still)
Where the world was empty
Save you and I
Where you came and I laughed, and you left, and I cried
Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours
(So I died there under you, every night, all night)[Verse 3]
You know, I still wait at the edge of town
Praying straight to God that maybe you’ll come back around
I cry every day, and the bottles make it worse
'Cause you were the only one I was never scared to tell I hurt
And I found photographs of our school, on the day we met
I thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess
And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night
But God, I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're all right[Outro]
And I feel so alone
And I feel so alone out here
I feel so alone
And I feel so alone out here
And I feel so alone without you
I'm so alone out here
I feel so alone, I feel so alone
I'm so alone out here without you, baby
(I'm alone)
Western Nights
Western Nights tells the story of Ethel and her new man, Logan Phelps. Logan is less than kind, at times violent, but Ethel finds herself hopelessly in love with him despite his faults.
[Verse 1]
He's never looked more beautiful
On his Harley in the parking lot
Breaking in to the ATMs
Sleeping naked when it gets too hot
I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue
Starting fights at the bar across the street like you do
The neighbors beat on the walls while I'm face-first in the bed
Show me how much I mean to you, while I'm lying in these sheets undressed[Pre-Chorus]
I'd hold the gun if you asked me to
But if you love me like you say you do
Would you ask me to[Chorus]
Trouble's always gonna find you baby
But so will I
Crying only because I'm happy
Hold me across every state line
I'm never gonna leave you baby
Even if you lose what's left of your mind
'Cause you know I'll be right there beside you
Riding through all these western nights[Verse 2]
I haven't spoken to my daddy in a long, long time
I don't want him to worry, always wondering if I'm alright
But the neighborhood keeps getting smaller
All starved out when the money's paper thin
All that's left are your walls and you'll die there
I should have known that there's no getting in[Chorus]
Trouble's always gonna find you baby
But so will I
Crying only because I'm happy
Hold me across every state line
I'm never gonna leave you baby
Even if you lose what's left of your mind
'Cause you know I'll still be right behind you
Riding through all these western nights[Outro]
Through these western nights
Crying in the light of the TV static
I'll still be alright
Clinging onto you like some love blind addict
I'll be screaming your name
Past the gas stations, trailing down the interstate
Please don't love how I need you
And know that one day, you and I could be ok
Although some interpret Logan to be physically abusive toward Ethel because of the lyrics "I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue", Hayden has said he isn’t. The lyrics allude that he beats up people often. Although it is an unhealthy relationship, Logan is more of a bad boy than anything.
Family Tree
After the death of her boyfriend Logan in a police shootout following a bank robbery, Ethel finds herself on the run from the cops. We can see the religious undertones as she asks those judging her to cleanse her of her sins. The crosses all over her body being the scars of her past. Things get worse when she discovers a disturbing family secret.
[Verse 1]
These crosses all over my body
Remind me of who I used to be
Give myself up to him in offering
Let him make a woman out of me
I'm just a child but I'm not above violence
My mama raised me better than that
When the preacher talks, that man demands his silence
And daddy said shoot first then run and don't look back[Chorus]
So take me down to the river and bathe me clean
Put me on the back of your white horse to ride
All the way to thе chapel, let you wash all over mе[Verse 2]
I've killed before and I'll kill again
Take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand
They say heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned
And baby, hell don't scare me, I've been times before[Chorus]
So take me down to the river and bathe me clean
Put me on the back of your white horse to ride
All the way to the chapel, let you wash all over me[Bridge]
These crosses all over my body
Remind me of who I used to be
Let Christ forgive these bones I've been hiding
And the bones I'm about to leave[Chorus]
And take me down to the river and bathe me clean
Put me on the back of your white horse to ride
All the way to the chapel, let you wash all over me
Hard Times
This song marks the end of Act One of the album.Trigger Warning: Child Abuse.Hard Times sees Ethel reflecting on the sexual abuse she endured from her father when she was a child, and the complicated feelings she has in regards to him.
[Verse 1]
Hide me there
Under the leaves
Nine going on eighteen
Lay it on me
Tell me a story
About how it ends
Where you're still the good guy
I'll make pretend
'Cause I hate this story
Where happiness ends
And dies with you[Chorus]
I thought good guys get to be happy
I'm not happy
I am poison in the water and unhappy
Little girl who needs her daddy real bad[Verse 2]
In the corner
On my birthday
You watched me
Dancing right there in the grass
I was too young
To noticе
That some types of love could bе bad
Praying I'd be like you
Doing all of the things that you do
And I still do
And that scares me[Outro]
I'm tired of you, still tied to me
(Bleeding whenever you want)
Too tired to move, too tired to leave
I'm tired of you, still tied to me
(It's just the way that you are)
I'm tired of you, too tired to leave
(I just wanna sleep)
I'm tired of you, still tied to me
(I just wanna sleep)
Too tired to move, too tired to leave
(I just wanna sleep)
I'm tired of you, still tied to me
(Please, can I sleep, can I sleep?)
I'm tired of you, too tired to leave
I'm tired of you, still tied to me
Too tired to move, too tired to leave
This song is a very heartbreaking but realistic depiction of a victim of child abuse. Ethel grapples with who she saw her father as before the abuse and after. How she still wishes she could see him as the good guy in the story. How, despite the abuse, she's still that little girl who looked up to him and wishes to be like him. This theme is prevalent throughout the album; we will see her mention he father in varying ways, sometimes, in a seemingly positive light despite it all.This song is heavy, so take a breather and get ready for the Act Two of the album.
Thoroughfare
Act Two of the album begins with Thoroughfare. Ethel, having run away from home, meets charming Isaiah, who offers her a ride. Together, they drive from Texas to California. Over the course of their trip, they find themselves attracted to one another.Info: Thoroughfare is a noun that refers to a way or place of passage such as: a street open on both ends or a main road.
[Verse 1]
You fell in love with America when you were twelve years old
And by seventeen, you knew you had to see it all
You loved your dad and the love he had for your mother, so
You had to get out and go chasin' its sweet call[Verse 2]
I met you there in Texas somewhere on the thoroughfare
On the side of the road in some torn-up clothes with a pistol in my pocket
I didn't trust no one, but you said, "Baby, don't run, I'll take you anywhere"
So I hopped right in, outta luck to spend, and at least your truck beats walking[Chorus]
And you said, "Hey, do you wanna see thе west with me?
'Cause lovе's out there and I can't leave it be"
And I said, "Honey, love's never meant much to me
But I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need"[Verse 3]
So we made off for California
To find your lover, drivin' day and night
And every small town diner
Saw our faces at least once or twice
But in these motel rooms
I started to see you differently, oh
'Cause for the first time since I was a child
I could see a man who wasn't angry[Verse 4]
And he said, "It's been a long damn time since I left Florida
No one left to leave and no one left to love
But now that I met you, I finally know just where I'm headin'"
And we found heaven in time where your western sunshine
Met my deep southern wet
And you got lost in it and yet you found yourself
Hard-pressed for air and sweatin'[Chorus]
And you said, "Hey, do you wanna see the west with me?
(Do you wanna see the west with me?)
'Cause love's out there and I can't leave it be"
(I can't leave it, I can't leave it)
And I said, "Honey, love's never meant that much to me
(Nothing much)
But I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need"[Bridge]
And once we reached the coast, you said, "End of the line
We finally reached the edge after all this time
I didn't find my love, but I still made it this far without it"
And then you turned to me and stared into me deep
And said, "Well, maybe not 'cause look at what I've got
You might not be my love, but, baby, I doubt it"[Chorus]
And you said, "Hey, do you wanna see the west with me?
'Cause love's out there and I can't leave it be"
(I can't leave it, I can't leave it)
And I said, "Honey, love's never meant that much to me
But I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need"[Outro]
'Cause in your pickup truck with all of your dumb luck is the only place I think I'd ever wanna be[Tambourine- and scat-led jam session]
This song contains a lot of foreshadowing for Act Two so, enjoy it and try to dissect it. However, it will make much more sense the second time around. I've put in bold two important phrases that may clue you in as to what is going to happen next.
Gibson Girl
The title refers to Charles Dana Gibson and the women he famously drew, often considered the pinnacle of American beauty standards.Trigger Warning: Drug AbuseAfter Ethel arrives in California with Isaiah, he begins to pimp her out in the back of strip clubs and feed her drugs on the regular. Ethel begins to lose sense of reality.
[Verse 1]
You wanna love me right now
You wanna get alone with me
You wanna get my clothes off
And hurt me
You came alone to me
From however far away
Asking me to know how I know
You're all the same[Pre-Chorus]
Black leather and dark glasses
Pouring another while I shake my ass
He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed
Obsession with the money, addicted to the drugs
Says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up
And then he says to me[Chorus]
"Baby, if it feels good
Then it can't be bad"
Where I can be immoral
In a stranger's lap
And if you want it good
Downright iconic
Something they all want
That only you can have[Verse 2]
You wanna fuck me right now
You wanna see me on my knees
You wanna rip these clothes off
And hurt me[Pre-Chorus]
And if you hate me
Please don't tell me
Just let the lights bleed
All over me[Chorus]
If it feels good
Then it can't be bad
Where I can be immoral
In a stranger's lap
And if you want it good
Downright iconic
Then I would show you something
You can never have[Instrumental Break]And if it feels good
Then it can't be bad
Where I can be immoral
In a stranger's lap
And if you want it good
Downright iconic
Then I would show you something
You can never have
The pace of the song coupled with the slight distortion is meant to represent how intoxicated Ethel is.Lyrics such as "Baby, if it feels good then it can't be bad" and "If you hate me, Please don't tell me" show how Ethel is in denial about the abuse she's enduring at the hands of who she thought was a good man. In the last song, we feel hopeful for a happy ending for Ethel with Isaiah and so was Ethel. She is still clinging on to that hope.
Ptolomea
Under the influence of Isaiah’s drugs, Ethel begins to hallucinate. She confronts the darkness.The song name is inspired from Alighieri’s Divine Comedy [specifically Dante’s Inferno] Ptolemea, named after Ptolemy, is the circle of Hell in which the traitorous reside. Maybe this is a reference to Ethel abandoning her family and faith – only to be met with a wrath far worse.
[Isaiah]
I followed you in
I was with you there
I invited you in
Twice, I did
You love blood too much
But not like I do
Not like I doHeard you, saw you, felt you, gave you
Need you, love you, love you, love you
Heard you, saw you, felt you, gave you
Need you, love you, love you, love you
Love you, saw you, love you, gave you
Love you, love you, love you, love you
Love you, saw you, felt you, love you
Love you, love you, love you, love you
Love you, love you, love you, love you
Love you, love you, love you, love you(You’d do wеll to say yes to me)[Ethel]
Suffer doеs the wolf, crawling to thee
Promising a big fire, any fire
Saying I'm the one, he's gonna take me
I'm on fire, I'm on fire, I'm on fire
Suffering is nigh, drawing to me
Calling me the one, I'm the white light
Beautiful, finiteEven the iron still fears the rot
Hiding from something I cannot stop
Walking on shadows, I can't lead him back
Buckled on the floor when night comes along
Daddy's left and Mama won't come home[Isaiah]
You poor thing
Sweet, mourning lamb
There's nothing you can do
It's already been done[Ethel]
What fear a man like you brings upon ([Isaiah] Show me your face)
A woman like me
Please don't look at me
I can see it in your eyes
He keeps looking at me
Tell me, what have you done
Stop, stop, stop, make it stop, stop
Make it stop
Make it stop, I've had enough
Stop, stop, stop, stop
Stop, stop, stop,
StopI am the face of love's rage
I am the face of love's rage[Death]
Blessed be the Daughters of Cain, bound to suffering eternal through the sins of their fathers committed long before their conception
Blessed be their whore mothers, tired and angry waiting with bated breath in a ferry that will never move again
Blessed be the children, each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence
Blessed be you, girl, promised to me by a man who can only feel hatred and contempt towards you
I am no good nor evil, simply I am, and I have come to take what is mine
I was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood
I am here now as you run from me still
Run then, child
You can't hide from me forever
And so, Ethel meets her fate.The lyrics "There's nothing you can do, It's already been done" allude to this predestination. In the beginning of the album, we see how this was her fate all along with the lyrics from Family Tree (Intro): "The fates already fucked me sideways, Swinging by the neck from the family tree". Although in Family Tree we see she says "Take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand", we now see there's really nothing she could have done to prevent this.Although some people interpret the voice of Death to be a demon or even Satan, it may be debunked by the lyrics: "I am no good nor evil, simply I am, and I have come to take what is mine".Don't take a breather just yet, these next songs will let you think.
August Underground
Ethel wastes away in the attic of an abandoned shack in the woods of northern California. Since Isaiah reveals his truest nature, she accepts her fate and faces the end.The title is a reference to the infamous pseudo-snuff film of the same name. The film depicts a serial killer named Peter, who kidnaps and kills several innocent people, while his unnamed accomplice films and documents the murders.
[This song is an instrumental][Vocalizations/Groaning can be heard to represent Ethel wasting away]
I've tried not to insert my opinion throughout this but I interpret this song to also be her judgment. Almost like she's in purgatory until it is determined whether or not she's allowed into heaven or sent to hell.
Televangelism
Ethel’s death and ascension to Heaven is portrayed through piano and ambient noise.
[This song is an instrumental]
Sun Bleached Flies
In Heaven, Ethel makes peace with her death, and reflects on her life, her family, and the man she never stopped loving, Willoughby.
[Verse 1]
Sun bleached flies sitting in the windowsill
Waiting for the day they escape
They talk all about that money and how their babies are always changing while they're breathing in the poison of the paint
What I wouldn't give to be in Church this Sunday
Listening to the choir, so heartfelt, all singing
God loves you, but not enough to save you
So, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself[Chorus]
So I said fine, 'cause that's how my daddy raised me
If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard
But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me
Then this heart would break and fall as twice as far[Verse 2]
We all know how it goes
The more it hurts, the less it shows
But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home
And I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines
And God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight[Chorus]
But I don't mind 'cause that's how my daddy raised me (How my daddy raised me)
If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard
But I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me
So I just prayed and I keep praying and praying and praying[Bridge]
If it's meant to be then it will be
So I met him there and told him I believe
Singing if it's meant to be then it'll be
I forgive it all as it comes back to me (Back to me)
If it's meant to be then it will be
So I met him there and told him I believe (I believe, yeah)
Singing if it's meant to be then it will be (Oh, oh)
I forgive it all as it comes back to me (It comes back to me)
If it's meant to be then it'll be (It'll be, it'll be, it'll be)
So I met him there and told him I believe (Yeah)
Singing if it's meant to be then it will be
I forgive it all as it comes back to me (Oh)[Outro]
I'm still praying for that house in Nebraska
By the highway, out on the edge of town
Dancing with the windows open
I can't let go when something's broken
It's all I know and it's all I want now
The Sun Bleached Flies not only represent people who live in small towns and never leave but also Ethel, who resembles a dead fly after wasting away in Isaiah's basement."God loves you, but not enough to save you" is a lyric that tends to resonate with everyone. She's accepted her faith. Despite it all, she still wishes she was in church, she still believes.We see again how she doesn't always talk about her father in a negative light with the lyrics "But I don't mind 'cause that's just how my daddy raised me"."I forgive it all as it comes back to me" she sings, accepting the cards she's been dealt and choosing to forgive those that did her wrong.This song is amazing in many ways but something that resonates personally as someone raised religious (now agnostic) is how she still has faith in the end.
Strangers
Murdered and cannibalized by Isaiah, Ethel says her final goodbye to her mother from beyond the grave.
[Preacher]
God is telling you and I there is death, for all of us
But then we find that the scriptures also tell us that we have a great promise, that there is a better place for those who believe in the lord Jesus Christ[Verse 1]
In your basement, I grow cold
Thinking back to what I was always told
"Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love"
Freezer bride, your sweet divine
You devour like smoked bovine hide
How funny, I never considered myself tough
You're so handsome, walking over to me now[Chorus]
I tried to be good
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours
Can I be yours?
Can I be yours?
Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick[Post-Chorus]
Oh, no, no, no
No, no
No, no[Verse 2]
When my mother sees me on the side
Of a milk carton in Winn-Dixie's dairy aisle
She'll cry and wait up for me
We'll make love in your attic all night
Euphoric in some strange delight
I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be, oh
You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth
(When I'm all over your mouth, when I'm all over your mouth)[Chorus]
I tried to be good
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours
Can I be yours?
Can I be yours?
Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick
Am I making you feel sick?[Bridge]
Ah
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel-
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel-
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
No[Outro]
Found you just to tell you that I made it real far
And that I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did
While you were torn apart
I would still wait with you there
Don't think about it too hard
Or you'll never sleep a wink at night again
Don't worry 'bout me and these green eyes
Mama, just know that I love you (I do)
And I'll see you when you get here
Hayden uses cannibalism as a metaphor for closeness and sex. She refers to Isaiah as handsome several times as he cannibalizes her, she refers to the act as making love and euphoric.She laments how she always tried to be good in the eyes of god, yet still met this fate. How she just wanted to love Isaiah but she's now destined to spend eternity turning in her metaphorical grave; his stomach.Bringing an end to the album, Ethel tells her mother, that she forgives her for how she's hurt her. We end, as we started; with motherhood.